Soaring

I am soaring high, like an eagle,
where I can be and see it all.
To a place there is not hurt
and there are no limitations.
Here I can see in the hearts and
minds of all and see the truth.

I am soaring high, like a plane,
being invincible, invisible to all.
The feeling is good, though the
time comes when I'm out of fuel.
Then I will dive, crash and burn
I know it, but it matters not.

I am here, I am now, it's all I can do.
I can't cross unbuilt bridges,
or worry about any I burned before.
Enjoying the moment that is here
is the only way I can live, because
later it will be like now never was.

Shinemyrtle

A life on the border

Standing on the edge
a life on the border
trying not to fall
at least not too far
on either side of
emotional catastrophe
feeling them all so strong
trying to fill up the
emptiness inside
looking closely at
everything
trying so hard to feel
just a little bit
but it's always
everything or nothing

Standing on the edge
a life on the border
always fearing
that you will finally go
that I pushed to far
keep testing your love
needing your reassurance
all the time
watching myself
hating the actions
but unable to stop
trying so hard to feel
just a little bit
but it's always
everything or nothing


Shinemyrtle

I am a tempest

I am a tempest

a tempest that can be stilled

but only by the warmth of the sun

a tempest that can be guided

but not led or forced

I am a tempest

turning into a hurricane

are you the sun to still me

before I wreak havoc all around

and destroy all before I disappear

I am a tempest

can you handle it

when you are being thrown about

can you stand up to me

and show me you're not scared

I am a tempest

but in your company I could turn

I could be a cooling breeze

a zephyr to refresh

and breathe life into you

Shinemyrtle

Catching life

She is trying to catch up with life,

there is so much she missed.

Now she wants it all back,

she has so much less time now.

All that time wasted, not by choice,

one day it was gone, missing in inaction.

Catching life, like catching butterflies,

she mustn't try too hard,

she'll miss so much on the way,

she'll go blind to all but butterflies.

She will get there in the end,

maybe one day it will come to her.

No coaxing needed, no running,

no traps and no butterfly nets.

Maybe it is prettier as it is,

uncaught, untamed, flying around,

wreck havoc, chaos and destruction,

yet so dazzling in it's glory.

She will never get back,

what was so carelessly wasted.

Having learned her lesson,

she will ignore the butterfly.

Instead she will follow it's lead,

and take time to see where it takes her.

Shinemyrtle

Shinemyrtle naked...

This blog is a place for me to share with others what the world looks like through my eyes. The eyes of a person with Emotionally unstable personality disorder, a disorder that has so far controlled me and not the other way around.

Through this I will write down what is happening to me, and what will hopefully be my road to recovery and a full and happy life. I have the external resources, but have I got it within me to battle it out any longer?