The in between world

Sometimes she wonders
if she really is here, or
is it just her imagination
did she die and go to hell.
She's not sure what
is reality any more,
but she knows
she doesn't care any more.

Sometimes the world is
nothing but colours,
blurred like a bad
pastel drawing.
The people around her
does not feel real, but
she should keep it together
that's what they all want.

Letting go and losing it
would be so tempting,
refuse to join in for now.
To sit and stare,
she is in the in between,
in between life and death,
not wanting to do either.

She doesn't see people,
they are becoming a mass,
she thinks she can see,
then it goes away again.
Nothing feels real,
it's all just lies, and dirt,
rejecting the world.

It's the way she keeps
all her demons away from
all those she normally loves.
She hasn't got what it takes
to love right now, she just
takes, and demands.
She wants it all to go away.

Shinemyrtle